Why couples reach out to me for Premarital Coaching help and what they get from it.
I’m not sure how many people know that a sizable number of my clientele are couples who want coaching before getting married or moving in together.
Most couples who contact me for premarital coaching want to strengthen their relationship before they walk down the aisle. Sometimes they are experiencing challenges. and the thought of signing a marriage license with unresolved issues makes them acutely uncomfortable. Bravo to them for being proactive!
A second example of proactivity is when a couple knows a fair amount of friends and family who have been through a divorce and want to do all they can to prevent that from happening to them.
Then there is the third example of proactivity. This is the couple who feels strong in their relationship and just wants to make sure it stays that way.
What does a couple learn by getting coaching before being married or moving in together? A heck of a whole lot! I teach them 35 tools, many of which have to do with communication. Every couple needs an operating system for communicating on a daily basis and in times of conflict. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but couples will have conflict. It’s how a couple handles the conflict that matters.
A couple who comes in for premarital or pre-cohabitation coaching will get the chance to take a thorough look at how well certain departments are running in their relationship, such as the department of fun, romance, practical life, parenting (this includes pets), finances, lovemaking, physical affection, and spirituality.
Another component of my work with couples before they make the big step of getting married or living together is to uncover unfinished business around trust. Trust isn’t only about infidelity. It can be around a variety of scenarios.
Some examples are:
- The need to trust a mate that he/she will be transparent about finances.
- The need to trust a mate that he/she will help the other person feel like he/she matters on a daily basis.
- The need to trust that laughter and the lighter side of life be a part of their existence.
- The need to know the other person will be an active participant in running a household.
- The need to know the partner will work as a team as parents, if there are children.
The whole point of a couple receiving coaching before a marriage or a move-in, is to stay ahead of life a bit so that it doesn’t take you completely off-guard. A couple can’t prevent everything negative from happening in their relationship, but they can be more prepared for it when it does happen.
If you enjoyed this article and would like more Relationship tips, please to download my report on “Top 10 Tips for Long Lasting Relationships”.