Often when we get together with my family, my partner chastises me for doing something “wrong” in front of my family. It’s humiliating and is damaging our relationship. What do I do?
Whether we say something positive or negative about our mate in front of other people, it has 3 times the impact than if we say it face-to-face. So your feeling of humiliation is amplified each time your mate does this.
Here are a couple things you can do:
I would definitely find a non-conflict moment to tell your partner how uncomfortable you are when he/she draws attention to you negatively in front of your family. Explain to your mate that you would prefer he/she speak to you privately about his/her concern, either at the gathering or when you are alone at home.
If you notice something negative about your mate when you are in the company of other people, model for him/her what you want for yourself. Find a moment to express your concern privately.
Sometimes asking for what we want, as well as modeling it is the winning combo. Give it a try!
Do you have sensitive issues in your relationships that you need help with? Ask Coach Kathy about it. Submit your question to Coach Kathy using the form below: