Phone use in relationships has become so normal that most of us don’t notice how much it’s pulling us out of the present moment.
So, I’ve decided 2026 will be, for me, The Year of the Brain. I’m not sure if this is your experience, but over the past couple of years, I’ve noticed myself becoming way too attached to my phone.
For example: texting. I only realized after the fact that I had gotten into the habit of what I call “vigilant responding.” I would be reading one text and see another one come in while I was texting someone else. I would finish the current text, with a previous plan to move on to something not technological, but instead would feel compelled to answer the next text, and the next. You get the picture.
At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, I was starting to feel like a slave to my phone!
Wherever my phone led me, I’d follow. I was developing a habit of reaching for it just as I would awaken.
Really??
What could be that crucial that I have to look at this device within a minute of opening my eyes?
I would look at my phone and get texts out of the way while my husband was driving us to the gym. Let’s talk about usurping any valuable conversations I might have had with my spouse!
I found myself looking at my phone after dinner while we might be watching a movie or show. Uuuuugggh.
The figurative two by four to my head was when I began feeling like I had a pinball machine in my brain. If you’ve ever played pinball, you know what it’s like to watch the ball bounce from one bumper to the next. I was feeling myself becoming more and more distracted by having to manage communications on my phone.
At this point, you may be thinking, “Yeah, I feel the same way,” or perhaps this is not your experience. In any event, I thought I would share with you my plan to get a separation from my relationship with my phone, not a separation that leads to a divorce, but more about a separation that leads to what I deem important modifications.
Below is my 2026 plan:
I am holding off on looking at my phone until right before we go to the gym at 9:00 AM.
I am looking at my phone every 2-3 hours instead of continuously.
The last time I will look at my phone for the day is right after dinner.
This is a simple format for me and one to which I can hold myself accountable. There is one exception to this plan. I will look at my phone if someone is calling me. We have 3 adult children, a grandson, and one on the way, so I want to be available to communicate with them.
For others, if I am occupied, I will call them back within 24 hours. The goal of all this is to slow down my brain to be able to be more in the present moment, which benefits all of my relationships. I think my brain will thank me for it!