Can You Relate?
Last month I had the privilege of appearing on the very last live airing of the show called Good Company on WKYC Channel 3. It was bitter-sweet to see so many people I had worked with over the years and yet to whom I had to say farewell.
But life can be funny in that our paths may cross again. You never know!
The topic for my last show was something to which you might be able to relate: How Change (good and bad) Impacts a Relationship.
On the show, I explained that change or a transition of any kind affects people differently, but on some level, it isn’t a snap for any of us. Change can easily be translated into stress.
So the real questions are these: How do you handle stress yourself if you’re the one going through a change of some sort, and how does your partner handle your stress because, most likely, some of your stress is spilling over onto your mate.
If your mate is the one under stress from a change, I recommend when your partner tells you she/he is anxious about some kind of transition that you say, “Tell me more about what’s going on.”
Asking curiosity questions shows you truly care to hear about the circumstances.
Let your mate vent or purge for a few minutes and interject validating words and phrases to show you are hearing what he or she is saying.
No advice is given here, unless it is asked for!
Another thing you can do to help relieve your partner’s stress is to ask, “What can I do to support you during this change?” The answers may be to help around the house, get takeout food, and encourage time for your mate to exercise.
This is important … check in with your mate weekly on the change/transition that is taking place. This is not an on-the-fly kind of conversation. Carve out at least 15 minutes to review how things are going for your partner emotionally and logistically.
At this check-in also talk about the successes or positives that have occurred around the change. As a team, you will get through the change!