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Kathy Dawson, Relationship Coach

November 27, 2013 By Kathy Dawson Leave a Comment

Be Careful What You Say

Language and how it is used in a relationship can make it or break it.

When I work with men and women in my relationship coaching practice, I teach them 35 tools for their marriage or relationship.  Many of the tools I teach have to do with the positive or negative power of the spoken word.

careful what you saySometimes when a couple is talking to one another on a particular topic, these words come out of the man’s mouth: “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”  I look at that moment as a fabulous teaching moment for the husband or partner.  I explain to him that a woman’s number one love need is validation, so if she hears “You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” it’s the same as him saying, “You’re crazy for feeling the way you do!”  Believe me, a woman will not react well to this.

Even if a man doesn’t agree with what his mate is saying or would react differently in the same situation, here are some validating things he can and must say:

  • It sounds like this matters a lot to you.
  • Given the situation, I can see how you might feel that way.
  • Wow, no wonder you reacted the way you did.
  • For you to feel this way, the situation had to be (fill in the blank)

When a man validates a woman’s feelings, he will surely have a confidant, friend, and lover for life.

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About Kathy

Kathy Dawson, the leading relationship coach in Northeast Ohio, provides an alternative or supplement to marriage counseling by helping married and engaged couples, as well as divorced and single people, improve their lives by improving their relationships. Kathy specializes in:
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    • Call Kathy at (216) 536-8964 today to find out more about how she can help you and your relationship!
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