Have you ever been in a relationship that drains you? Do you feel exhausted because of the drama in a relationship? We all have the potential to create drama or experience it in someone else. Knowing how to disengage from it will make the difference between living life with the least amount of negativity and the most amount of energy and living life feeling depleted and depressed. Below are some basic tips to help you unhook your cart from another person’s roller coaster ride:
- When someone you know and care about starts to create drama through arguing, blaming, self-pity, or having a tantrum, the first thing to do is to be an objective 3rd party observer. Step back, zoom out, and get a big picture of the situation. Your ego is whispering to you to jump into the drama, but stop! Notice – observe – what’s going on.
- Slow down your interaction with the person. Hold back the urge to be reactionary. You’re allowed to say, “I’m uncomfortable with this conversation. Let’s take a break and reconvene in (fill in the time).
- If you still want to engage in conversation, be conscious of your language. Avoid loaded words like, “always” or “never.” Chances are the other person is baiting you to get sucked into the drama. Remain calm and state what you see and how you feel about what you see. Speak your truth, so that when you step out of the conversation, you feel at peace with your part in it.
- Set your boundaries. Saying what is okay and not okay with you, in a nondramatic way, changes your dance steps to the dance you and the other person may be used to doing. Remember, you’re not going to change the other person. The only thing you can change is your reaction to that person.
For more ideas on how to be in a drama-free relationship, click here.