Relationships in the News

In the on-line magazine, theweek.com, author Eric Barker describes the 5 secrets to a great relationship by encouraging people to think of the five R’s:

1. Right
2. Real
3. Rapport
4. Relate
5. Review

He gives the following explanations for the five R’s:

1. Fight Right – Barker explains that marriages with no arguments are 35% more likely to divorce within 4 years of marriage than those marriages where couples disagree. He says the key to arguing is to show compassion toward your partner during disagreements. Very hard to do when your ego is chirping at you to be right. However, if during a disagreement, a mate can have an open mind, he or she will deflate the contentious energy.
2. Keep It Real – Barker says that partners who lean toward perfectionism tend to have unsatisfying relationships. When expectations are ultra high, disappointment inevitably happens. Life and relationships are meant to change. The couples who can go with the flow of change appear to remain happy.
3. Have Rapport – Barker states that couples who communicate by sharing feelings are 62% more likely to be happy than couples who only talk about the surface stuff of life – the when, what, or where of the day.
4. Relate – According to Barker, couples that share similar interests and values are happy for the long haul. Those mates whose values on family, spirituality, money, and other important areas in life, are opposite tend to discover unhappiness in the relationship pretty quickly.
5. Review – Barker says that couples that work to improve their relationship and then monitor their progress regularly are happier than couples that pay no attention to growth in their marriage or relationship.