Is Your Mate Too Busy for You?

This month’s Ask Coach Kathy question is about how much time your mate should spend with you.

My girlfriend is so busy. She is on a tennis league, in two networking groups, and two book clubs. I want to see her more than two or three times a week, but she doesn’t want to give up her activities? She says she feels suffocated by me. I’m feeling lonely. Am I being unreasonable?

If your girlfriend gets joy from her activities, pressuring her to stop them will most likely backfire on you. I’d ask yourself if you have any activities of your own. If not, I recommend you develop a hobby or two. Sitting around waiting for your girlfriend’s time to free up is not an attractive position.

Get out there and do something to stretch yourself – learn a new language or take up an instrument. In short, make yourself more interesting. You will learn about yourself and your girlfriend will probably see you as less suffocating – and might even want to spend more time with you!