Is Your Spouse's Friend Not a Good Friend?

This month on Ask Coach Kathy we’re talking about friends our spouses have and how we sometimes don’t always like that person.

In my opinion, my wife’s “best friend” treats her poorly. I notice that she chronically breaks plans with my wife at the last minute. When they are together, I hear this friend put her down a lot. Should I talk directly with my wife’s friend?

I recommend you share with your wife what you have noticed around their relationship. Be careful to state your observations in a neutral way, rather than in a blaming manner. Your wife may feel loyal to her friend and want to come to her defense. You can state your observations, ask your wife if she is aware of the situation and then ask how she feels about it when it occurs. If she sees the situation the way you do, you can be a sounding board for her to vent and work through to a solution. If she doesn’t see anything to be concerned about, you’ll need to let it go. Down the road, she may notice what you have noticed.