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Kathy Dawson, Relationship Coach

August 3, 2017 By Kathy Dawson 1 Comment

How to Stop Relationship Discussions From Escalating

This month’s Ask Coach Kathy question is about heated discussions with your mate and how to avoid them.

how to avoid an argument in discussionsMy husband and I find ourselves getting sucked into escalating discussions. Before we know it, we are raising our voices and pointing fingers.

How do we stop doing this?

 

I’m going to give you a simple technique that has helped my clients in the same situation.

In a non-conflict moment, you and your husband decide on a code word to use when you sense your conversation is going to the “dark side.“ Make it an unusual word so that it is distinctive. For example, I have one client that uses the word “pumpernickel.” Another client uses “watermelon.”

This word gets called out only to de-escalate or stop a conversation from going into a negative direction. Most of the time, couples start to laugh when they hear the word, realizing whatever they are about to argue about is inconsequential. This does not mean that you don’t continue on the topic at a later time. It’s used to help you hear yourselves and take a break.

Do you have a question for Coach Kathy? Submit your question below.
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Comments

  1. Ana Aluisy says

    August 23, 2017 at 10:09 pm

    I really like this technique. I believe that it promotes awareness of the negative interaction and gives individuals a choice to continue on that path or choose a healthier approach.

    Reply

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About Kathy

Kathy Dawson, the leading relationship coach in Northeast Ohio, provides an alternative or supplement to marriage counseling by helping married and engaged couples, as well as divorced and single people, improve their lives by improving their relationships. Kathy specializes in:
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    • Call Kathy at (216) 536-8964 today to find out more about how she can help you and your relationship!
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Kathy Dawson Relationship Coach in Cleveland Ohio

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