Often when couples come to see me, they talk about how ailing their marriage or relationship feels. One of the first things I work with the couple on is the health of themselves, as individuals. I teach them that taking care of themselves is not selfish! The health of their marriage or relationship is in direct proportion to how healthy they are in these four categories:
- Physically – how are they moving their bodies, what are they putting in their mouths, and are they sleeping enough?
- Emotionally – can they identify how they feel and can they express how they feel in a constructive rather than a destructive way?
- Mentally – What do they think about a lot – are their thoughts positive or negative? Do they take care of the all-important organ in their body – their brain, by hydrating it, exercising it, and by learning a language, reading, etc?
- Spiritually – Do they have a relationship with something larger than themselves?
I’ve had many clients express concern and fear about their partner’s health because he or she doesn’t want to lose the most important person in his or her life. I can tell you this. As soon as one mate tries to control the health destiny of another mate, he or she will be met with resistance and that dynamic will make the relationship more unhealthy. To learn some ways to encourage (not force) your mate to get healthier, click here.