Are You a Grudge-Holder?

Are you a grudge-holder?  As a human being, there is a high chance you have held a grudge about something or someone at some point in your life.  Although a grudge may feel victorious in the moment, it eventually comes back to haunt you.  Grudges come from feeling hurt, angry, and afraid.  Out of a desperate desire to reduce the pain you feel, you grab onto a grudge with a death grip.  The tighter you hold on, however, the worse you will eventually feel.  Below is a list of ideas on how to let go of a grudge in a relationship:

1. When the “grudge movie” starts playing in your head, stop the film and notice it’s playing.  Noticing the grudge film in your head stops it dead in its tracks and dilutes it right then and there.
2. You are the gatekeeper of your own energy.  You have only a certain amount of it in one day and have to be acutely aware of how you leak out your energy.  Holding a grudge and nurturing it sucks the energy out of you.
3. Once you’ve noticed the grudge movie playing, have a phrase in the wings that you will use to stop the tape from playing.  Phrases such as, “Let it go,” or “Release it” are cues for you to move off that story.
4. Once you’ve replaced the grudge movie in your head with positive phrases, redirect your focus by DOING something different.  Get up and get involved in an activity.  Exercise, do something creative, or go do something nice for someone else.

For more ideas on how to let go of a grudge in a relationship, click here.