This month’s Ask Coach Kathy question is about your spouse struggling to follow through with their resolutions.
My wife starts out every year saying she is going to exercise more and by mid-February, she goes back to her habit of not exercising. We’ve been married 24 years and, honestly, I’m beginning to lose respect for her. Any suggestions?
Number one, I encourage you to change the story you have in your head about your wife. Judging her for not sticking with an exercise regimen will not do you, her, or your relationship any good. The best thing you can do is notice when she does exercise and commend her for it, even if it’s much less than you exercise. When you notice that she has dropped off of her exercise, come from a place of compassion rather than criticism.
So basically, your job is to supports her wherever she is at on her journey to getting healthy. When you “stay in your own yard” and work on yourself, as opposed to hovering over her, you allow her the space to figure out how she can move forward with her goal.