This month’s Ask Coach Kathy question is about how to stop nagging and start getting results when you ask your mate to help with household chores.
When spring comes around each year, I feel like a mother to my husband.
I ask him repeatedly to do things I can’t do myself, such as heavy lifting of furniture so I can clean around it, cleaning gutters, and moving screens down from the crawl space.
After at least 10 requests, he finally does it. Why do I have to ask so often?
You must be exhausted! My guess is that after the 3rd request, you’re not even on his radar anymore, and you feel burned out.
I recommend you give him a head’s up that you will be making a list of (no more than 3 things at a time) and on the list will be the desired timeline for each task to get done. Watch carefully and when he completes a task, make sure you appreciate his effort. Believe me, no man likes feeling scolded by his wife, but he does like feeling accomplished and appreciated for the accomplishment.
You and your husband have developed a certain dance around spring cleaning that is not working for your relationship. You just need to change your dance steps. Stick with it. The new habit will replace the old and you’ll have more energy to do other things than reminding your husband to do stuff.
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