Good communication is critical in a healthy relationship.
In a recent article on a website called MindBodyGreen.com was a list of ways to improve communication with your mate.
I liked everything on the list and want to pass them onto you:
1. Take “fight breaks.” When you see your conversation is going in the wrong direction, take a timeout and agree to get back together at a certain time when your emotions have settled.
2. Dig deep to unearth your true feelings. Instead of reacting to your mate, take a breath and drill down to the most basic feeling you have in the moment, such as hurt, disappointment, frustration, etc. Coming from deeper feelings will feel vulnerable, but it is from there that you and your mate will have the best chance of hearing each other and then working as a team to come up with a solutions.
3. Seek to understand … not agree. There are times when you and your mate will have completely opposing opinions. That’s okay! I hope you don’t want to be with someone who agrees with you 100% all the time. Instead of trying to get your mate to think your way, accept that he/she has a different opinion and use the opportunity to come from understanding. You just never know where that perspective will take you.
4. Make your apology count. Sometimes we find ourselves saying things like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or “I’m sorry you see it that way.” That is NOT an apology. Zero in on your piece of the problem and own up to it. Be specific as to what part you have played in the situation. Even if it is hard for you to take ownership on your part of the challenge, saying, “I apologize for causing you pain” is a very good starting point.
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