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Kathy Dawson, Relationship Coach

October 18, 2016 By Kathy Dawson Leave a Comment

Improve Communication With Your Mate

Good communication is critical in a healthy relationship.

couple talking in parkIn a recent article on a website called MindBodyGreen.com was a list of ways to improve communication with your mate.

 

I liked everything on the list and want to pass them onto you:

 

1.    Take “fight breaks.”  When you see your conversation is going in the wrong direction, take a timeout and agree to get back together at a certain time when your emotions have settled.

 

2.    Dig deep to unearth your true feelings. Instead of reacting to your mate, take a breath and drill down to the most basic feeling you have in the moment, such as hurt, disappointment, frustration, etc.  Coming from deeper feelings will feel vulnerable, but it is from there that you and your mate will have the best chance of hearing each other and then working as a team to come up with a solutions.

 

3.    Seek to understand … not agree. There are times when you and your mate will have completely opposing opinions.  That’s okay!  I hope you don’t want to be with someone who agrees with you 100% all the time.  Instead of trying to get your mate to think your way, accept that he/she has a different opinion and use the opportunity to come from understanding.  You just never know where that perspective will take you.

 

4.    Make your apology count.  Sometimes we find ourselves saying things like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” or “I’m sorry you see it that way.”  That is NOT an apology.  Zero in on your piece of the problem and own up to it.  Be specific as to what part you have played in the situation.  Even if it is hard for you to take ownership on your part of the challenge, saying, “I apologize for causing you pain” is a very good starting point.

 

If you enjoyed this article and would like more tips, please feel free to download my “Top 10 Tips for Long Lasting Relationships” here.

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About Kathy

Kathy Dawson, the leading relationship coach in Northeast Ohio, provides an alternative or supplement to marriage counseling by helping married and engaged couples, as well as divorced and single people, improve their lives by improving their relationships. Kathy specializes in:
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    • Call Kathy at (216) 536-8964 today to find out more about how she can help you and your relationship!
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Kathy Dawson Relationship Coach in Cleveland Ohio

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