It’s September 11th, a day the world, and particularly Americans, will never forget. From that day forward, we stored within us images, sensations, memories, and lessons.
When coaching couples, there is a point in our work together when I reference 9/11. As we talk about physical affection in their relationship, I ask spouses or mates how they leave one another each day. In other words, do they wave across the room to one another before walking out the door? Does one partner call up the stairs to the other? Or do they separate without any connection whatsoever?
I ask each couple I work with to imagine the day of 9/11 and what they think the first thought might have been in each man or woman’s mind who learned of the loss of a spouse or partner that day. Inevitably, the answer they give me is, “What did I last say or do with my mate?” Exactly! How did I separate from my loved one?
In my mind, one of the many lessons that came out of 9/11 was the lesson that we need to connect in a heartfelt, present way before we leave our mate. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, we don’t really know what’s going to happen to us when we walk out the door each day. Before you leave your home, stop and think … did I connect with the one I love the most?
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