I feel like I carry the weight of our relationship. When something breaks in the house, it’s me – not my husband – who calls the handyman. When I want to socialize, I call our friends. When it’s time to pay the bills, I get out the checkbook. Whatever happened to teamwork?!
It sounds like the initiation factor in your relationship is out of balance. One of the best ways to get it more evenly distributed is for you to set aside the story in your head that you do everything. I know, I know. It feels that way. For one month, I’m going to ask you to pay extremely close attention to your mate. I mean really close attention. Watch for him to do anything that remotely looks like initiation and then write it down in a notebook. After a month, look at what is on that list. My guess is that he might do more than you realize. Once you see that, approach him, first to tell him how nice it was when he initiated such and such. Then ask him if he’d be willing to work with you on (fill in the blank). Because you won’t be approaching him with rage or resentment, he will be able to hear you. Keep your notebook going and teamwork will increase.