Talk to Me!

In a relationship or marriage, there is usually one person who talks more than the other.  Chances are you knew this going into your marriage or relationship, and, in fact, were probably drawn to this quality in your mate.  Now you’re committed and you wish your mate would talk more.  It’s not fair to ask a person to change his or her basic personality, but there are a few tips on how to balance the amount of talking that goes on between you and your partner, if your partner is a non-talker.

1. One of the best ways to draw out a mate who tends to be less talkative is for the talker to spend less time talking, in general.  Giving the non-talking spouse more space to talk will most likely raise the chance of him or her saying something.
2. When the less talkative partner does say something, the other mate better pay attention and acknowledge whatever he or she said.  That means refraining from giving solutions, and simply validating the person’s feelings.
3. The talker needs to avoid interrupting his or her mate and be careful to resist being a go-oner – someone who goes on and on and on.
4. The talker needs to understand that his or her mate is wired differently and may never talk as much as he or she does.  So creating a climate that allows the other person the best chance to talk, while understanding he or she will not do a 180 degree turn is the best approach.

To learn more about how to encourage a non-talking mate to chat it up a bit, click here.