People don’t fall out of love. They forget out of love. To help prevent this from happening to my clients, I give them the following homework assignment: Make a “10 Things I Love About You” list for your mate. On your list, include physical qualities you love, things the person does that you love, and things he or she stands for that you love (abstract qualities). The next assignment after reading the list to your partner is to frame the list you wrote, unveil it to him or her and then display it somewhere you will see it regularly. This will keep what you love about your mate on your radar screen.
Last night, I had a couple in my office that unveiled their lists. This is truly one of my favorite moments in my coaching practice. The husband presented his list, which was beautifully framed with photos interspersed among his list of loving statements. His wife’s eyes brightened when she saw it, knowing that he had taken the time to select the photos, the font, and the frame.
When it was her turn, she looked at me and said, “Do you have an outlet I can use?” I was surprised by this question, but directed her to the power strip on the floor. In seconds she presented her husband with a digital frame that showed favorite photos of them, combined with her statements of love. This slide show was the most unique use of the assignment I had ever seen.
To read of other things you can do to make your mate feel like he or she matters, click here.