We Want a Baby!

One of the most stressful times in a couple’s life is when partners realize that for them, having a baby isn’t going to be a 1,2,3 … we’re all done kind of a thing.  Here are some not always easy, but key things for couples to keep in mind and to do to stay close and strong during this difficult time:

1. Even though the woman is the one to go through many treatments and procedures, the situation must be approached as a team.  Both people are dealing with emotions that can affect how they react to one another.  It’s important they avoid blaming each other and, instead, work on coming from compassion and empathy.
2. Focusing on having a baby can become all consuming – like a full-time job.  It is critical that a couple work at balance in their life by taking a break from talking and thinking about having a baby.  Scheduling different kinds of dates that lead to creating memories is important – activity dates are great for this.  Dinner dates can easily turn into talk-about-having-a-baby dates.
3. Make love AND make a baby!  In other words, a couple needs to be conscious of their motive for making love.  If their intimacy is attached to the baby agenda 100% of the time, it’s going to create a pressure cooker in the bedroom. A couple can split their lovemaking in two – times to focus on getting pregnant and times to let go of the outcome. By the way, it’s usually when a couple lets go of the outcome that they get pregnant.
4. Mates need to build a support system outside of each other.  It’s unrealistic for partners to expect each other to fill every need during this challenging time. It’s a good idea for partners to develop relationships with other people for support: friends, family, and professionals who can help.
5. Mates need to give each other wiggle room on how they handle the stress of trying to have a baby.  Not everyone reacts to this particular situation in the same way.  Some people are processors who need to talk and others want to reflect in private.  If one partner isn’t coping in the same way as the other, he or she isn’t wrong, just different.

To learn more about how to reduce stress while trying to have a baby, click here: