Believe it or not, technically March is the beginning of spring.
For some of us, it may feel like Mother Nature played a joke on us because when we look out the window, it looks like anything but spring.
Couples go through four seasons in their relationship, just like we witness in nature. For the majority of couples with whom I work, they get to see spring return in their relationship by the time our twelve weeks together are finished. When couples or individuals first contact me, they are often in a winter season in their relationship. What does that mean? It means hurt, anger, disappointment, loneliness, and a sense of rejection may have built up between two mates. The climate between them is cold, harsh, and bitter.
When partners decide to work with me, they make a decision to work at getting out of winter and climb back into spring.
Here are some key things a couple can do to change their winter into spring:
Clear up unfinished business. If there is something not addressed in your relationship, put it on the table in a loving way and own your part in the situation.
Keep an eye on the relationship story in your head. Our brains naturally like to go to the negative. In reality, there is another side of the story. Work to tell yourself the positive part of the story while you and your mate work on clearing the negative.
Validate one another. Emotions are a big part of being human. We all need to know our feelings are valid, whether they are positive or negative.
Help your partner succeed. Make these questions part of your vocabulary: “What can I do to help?” “How can I make your life easier today?”
We all go through different seasons in our relationship. Knowing how to transition from winter to spring takes intention and willingness, but it is well worth the effort!