This month’s Ask Coach Kathy discusses sexual intimacy and taking the pressure off yourselves.
I am seventy-two and my husband is seventy-five. We have always had a very active sex life, but now it seems as though our relationship is reduced to nonsexual physical affection, things like hugging, holding hands, and little kisses now and then. Is it time to give up on sexual intimacy?
It really depends on how you want to define sexual intimacy. There is no one size fits all, although in our culture we may be taught to believe that. I always tell my clients that especially as they age, it’s up to them to custom design their sexual intimacy.
What does custom designing sexual intimacy mean?
It starts off with having a loving, understanding conversation about what sexual intimacy means in your relationship. For some couples, the conversation may be about upping the frequency and variety of sex, and for others, it might simply mean taking a baby step toward recreating a certain kind of sexual touch or gesture.
In my professional opinion, you and your mate will want to do yourselves a favor and take the pressure off yourselves and each other in this department. Pressure is a libido- killer. Move slowly into the idea of sexual intimacy and enjoy the process.
Do you have sensitive issues in your relationships that you need help with? Ask Coach Kathy about it. Submit your question to Coach Kathy using the form below: