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Kathy Dawson, Relationship Coach

May 14, 2012 By Kathy Dawson Leave a Comment

When to Say “I Love You”

For ages, the phrase, “I love you” has been a benchmark for couples.  The moment when someone says it first becomes the marker for whether or not the relationship soars, or stops in its tracks.  Here are some tips around that all-important declaration, I love you:

  1. Obviously, saying “I love you” is not a good idea on a first date.  Even if you’ve been infatuated for years with someone, you need to keep it together on the first date.
  2. There comes a time when the need to express love for another person becomes overwhelming.  It’s almost like a pressure cooker, the top of which is about to blow.  Before jumping off that cliff, check your motives first.  If you’re saying “I love you” because:
  • you want to have sex with the person
  • you’re lonely and can’t take it anymore
  • you want to get married and think it’s a short-cut

DON’T DO IT!

3. The time to say “I love you” is when you want to say it rather than need to say it.  The time to say “I love you” is when your gut trusts that it’s the right time based on the trust level between you and the other person.

4. Once the first “I love you” is out there, how often do you continue to say it?  If you’re a words of affirmation kind of person, you may say it daily or multiple times a day.  Be careful … like the phrase, “I’m sorry,” it can be overused.

5. If your partner doesn’t say “I love you” with the same frequency as you, realize he or she may express his or her love in a different way, but with no less intensity.  Having said that, I believe it’s important that “I love you” be a part of everyone’s vocabulary, even if its use is sporadic.

To read more about the universal phrase, “I love you,” click here.

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About Kathy

Kathy Dawson, the leading relationship coach in Northeast Ohio, provides an alternative or supplement to marriage counseling by helping married and engaged couples, as well as divorced and single people, improve their lives by improving their relationships. Kathy specializes in:
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    • Call Kathy at (216) 536-8964 today to find out more about how she can help you and your relationship!
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