When Your In-laws are Out-laws at the Holidays

Holidays with your in-laws can be stressful under good circumstances.  If your in-laws have become out-laws for some reason, the stress level rises greatly.  There are a few concrete things you can do to smooth things over with your in-laws, or better yet, prevent them from becoming out-laws in the first place!  Consider this list of small, but important ideas to build a bridge between you and your spouse’s parents:

1. Be proactive!  Set the tone for the holidays by sending a card or e-mail ahead of the holiday saying how much you are looking forward to spending time with them.
2. Toast your in-laws at the holiday dinner.  Another option is to toast your mate and say how grateful you are for how your in-laws have raised him or her.
3. Incorporate one of your in-law’s holiday traditions into the celebration.
4. Ask for a holiday recipe from your mother-in-law and make it for the holiday dinner.
5. A general rule for the holidays or afterwards is to refrain from calling your in-laws only when you need them for something, like babysitting.  Sometimes call just to say, “Hi” or to invite them over.