This month’s Ask Coach Kathy discusses how to best respond to a mate who verbally snaps at you in front of other people.
Sometimes when we are at a friend’s house or public event, my mate will snap at me and it’s mortifying. I have such an urge to one-up him and throw a snide remark his way. Do you think that’s okay?
I’m sure it is embarrassing and demoralizing when your mate verbally lashes out at you in front of other people and it may feel tempting to return the snarky behavior. Take the higher road and remain indifferent in public. Let your mate do what I call “sit in his own muck.” If you get into it with him, you will deflect his behavior away from himself and onto you. If you do not respond, he will be more likely to think about how it felt to act the way he did and he may even own up to it and apologize.
If he isn’t accountable for his behavior, then absolutely – in private – tell him how you feel when he acts that way toward you in front of others. Give the first option a chance though. You may be surprised.
Do you have sensitive issues in your relationships that you need help with? Ask Coach Kathy about it. Submit your question below.
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