Relationships in the News

I was recently interviewed for an article that appeared in Cleveland’s Plain Dealer on Sunday, February 8, 2015. The headline of the article is:
Ready to share an apartment with your Valentine? Not so Fast!

The reporter asked me questions about what to look out for if you are considering moving in with your mate. Here are some basic guidelines to consider before making this major life decision:

• you know it might be time to consider taking the plunge and move under the same roof when one or both of you are spending a lot of your time in the car or plane traveling back and forth to see one another.
• you know it might be time to move in together if one of you is spending so much time with the other that a house with a mortgage or an apartment with rent to be paid is being wasted because no one is there.
• one of the most important things to consider before moving in with someone is your motive for doing so. Although the above criteria are things to consider, make sure moving in with a significant other is not purely for financial reasons, convenience, or because you don’t want to be alone. Yes, you will have to work out some practical kinks, but your sole purpose for moving in with someone needs to be because you have reached a level of commitment that reflects your similar values and love for one another, and that your vision for your future together is the same.
• before setting up house, have a thorough discussion with your mate about each other’s desires on who does what to run and maintain the household, anything from emptying the dishwasher to feeding your pets. Assumptions in this area can rear their ugly heads later.
• in regards to finances, there needs to be 100% transparency between you and your mate. Reveal your assets, debt, and budget to one another.
• talk to one another about having your own private space in the house. Whether it’s space to sew, paint, or meditate, each of you needs to carve out room for solitude.