This is the time of year when some of us are coming off of flu season bugs, or going into spring allergies or change of weather ailments. In an issue of Psychologies Magazine is an article called, “I’m Bad at Looking after My Partner.”
Basically, the article describes mates as either people who like looking after their partner because it makes them feel needed and nurturing or as people who see their partner as vulnerable and weak, making them feel afraid of losing their mate.
The article gives a few pieces of advice on how to best care for your mate and yourself during anything from a common cold to a more serious illness:
- Change Your Focus
To become more caring shift your focus from your own fear to thinking about the well being of your partner. Try to understand how your mate feels, which will stimulate empathy.
- Question Your Feelings
Ask yourself if you are scared about being deserted. If so, try to figure out why. Was there something in our past that happened to make you feel abandoned. Stare the fear in the face and see if it is based on reality in the moment or from the past. Go with the moment rather than history.
- Don’t Take it to Heart
Sometimes it can feel like your partner being sick is an attack on you. It’s not. Work at not taking the illness personally.
- Play the Part
If you want to be more caring to your mate, then act that way, even if you don’t feel like it. It’s amazing how when we act the part, the feelings follow. And remember to be compassionate to yourself so that you can be more compassionate to your partner.