This month’s Relationship in the News is about communication.
A recent WebMD article by Diane Lore lists 6 ways to diffuse disputes with your mate and improve the way you argue. I agree with them all!
- Go to bed angry. A good night’s sleep is more important than staying up until 3:00 AM trying to hash it out. Clear your mind, get sleep, and you may have a new perspective in the morning.
- Own up to your part of the fight. Letting down your defenses and acknowledging your part in the situation is not what your ego wants you to do, but it’s the best way to de-escalate a conflict and reset the conversation.
- Find the humor. There probably has been a moment when you and your mate have said, “I can’t remember what we were arguing about.” For minor to medium issues, make the attempt to see the humor – look at the big picture and ask yourself, “How important is it?”
- Shut up and touch. Sometimes when you realize the conversation is going in circles, reaching out and touching one another can be the best thing to get you off the merry-go-round.
- Ban the but. Although you may be acknowledging your part in the problem, if you follow your acknowledgement, with but … it’s like erasing your acknowledgement. Defending your position re-escalates the conflict.
- Remember what’s important. Remember that there are 3 entities in your relationship: you, your mate, and your relationship. Do what’s best for the relationship.
If you enjoyed this article and would like more tips, please feel free to download my “Top 10 Tips for Long Lasting Relationships” here.