Marriage Coaching before walking down the aisle will help build a stronger foundation in the relationship.
As we inch our way to the busiest month of the year for weddings, June, I thought now would be an excellent time to talk about the importance of Marriage Coaching, *before* a couple walks down the aisle together.
A few months before a wedding is often the time when most of the planning for the event is over (or at least we hope) and a couple can take a break from the nuts and bolts of planning and focus on their relationship.
The deadlines of planning a wedding and/or the tension that sometimes occurs between the couple and well-meaning family members can put a fair amount of stress on the relationship. That stress can interfere with the joy of the wedding day and spill over into the newlywed stage of the first year of marriage.
Even if the wedding planning goes smoothly and relationships with family members are flawless, there are a few *key areas* that, if worked on ahead of marriage, can give a couple the chance to start life together with a stronger foundation and tools to help them feel like they are ahead of the game.
Key Area #1 – Practical Life
Even if partners live together before they get married, learning to discuss how to have a workable division of labor between them is crucial. When I say “workable,” I don’t necessarily mean the division is 50/50. It could be 70/30, as long as it works for the couple.
Sometimes a problem arises when mates don’t have that division of labor discussion and move forward assuming one or both will do certain daily tasks. You can imagine how well that turns out.
Being proactive and setting up a system for practical life – running and maintaining the inside and outside of your home – is paramount and is something I work with couples on all the time in marriage coaching.
Key Area #2 – Quality Time
When a couple firsts gets married, they can’t imagine themselves not spending concentrated, quality time together. Not to freak you out, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It doesn’t take long for newlyweds to get sucked into the vortex of everyday life – work, household responsibilities, kids, and other obligations – before they realize they aren’t spending quality time together!
Pre-marriage coaching sets a couple on a strong path with a plan to spend one-on-one time together on a consistent basis.
Key Area #3 – Finances
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve worked with partners who got married and had not been 100% transparent about their own finances before getting married. The lack of transparency sets up a couple for what is called “financial infidelity.”
True story: I had a newly married couple in my office a few years ago because one partner had recently learned that the other partner had brought a $150,000 student loan debt into the marriage. The trust in this new marriage had plummeted.
Pre-marriage coaching helps a couple put their financial cards on the table so that there are no surprises later in the marriage. Finances can be a touchy and difficult topic to discuss. Couples leave my office with the tools to be able to talk about money.
Whether your wedding is in two months or a year from now, do your relationship a favor and take the time to shift your focus from the wedding event and put it on your relationship – before you get married. It will be one of the best investments of your time and money you will make!
Are you looking for tips to create a long-lasting relationship? Get started by downloading my free report – get yours HERE!
Do you have sensitive issues in your relationships that you need help with? Ask Coach Kathy about it. Submit your question below.