My mother-in-law is a good grandma to our 2-year-old, but she is always calling me to see our son, her only grandchild. Whether she asks to come to our house, or invites us to her house, or asks to take him somewhere, it’s non-stop requests. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but she is smothering us. What do we do?
If your son is her first and only grandchild, she is probably overcome with joy to be able to spend time with him. Having said that, balance is the key in any relationship, even one with a 2-year old.
You’re going to have to drive the train on this situation because it’s pretty obvious she doesn’t have boundaries around being with her grandson.
I recommend you ask your mother-in-law if she would be willing to be with your son for a certain amount of time on the same day of the week. This will give her something to look forward to and it will give you a break to get things done on your own.
When she asks you for more time, you’re going to have to set the boundary. Talk to your husband and decide how much time you’d like for your son and your husband’s mom to spend together. Think about balance when doing this. If one or two other days for a certain amount of time feels right then communicate that to her.
It’s okay to say “No,” to your mother-in-law, in a kind and compassionate way.
Before you know it, she will grow familiar with boundaries.
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