Coach Kathy’s Communication Corner

One of the most important skills you will learn in life is how to set boundaries. Here are some examples of how you might have to set boundaries:

• You’re talking with a friend and another friend interrupts by asking you a question. You say, “Please hang on for one second. I just need to finish my conversation.”
• Your mate asks you to run an errand.. You say, “I can do that, but not until an hour from now.”
• A family member asks you to find out if another family member is mad at her. You say, “I’m uncomfortable being in the middle, so I’m not going to do that.”
• Your boss asks you to stay an hour late at work. You say, “I’d be happy to do it in the future, however, I must be at my daughter’s dance recital in 15 minutes.”

Now, imagine if you had granted the requests in the above examples. You would have most likely felt stress, resentment, and possibly anger at yourself for caving in and compromising your sense of peace. Boundaries are not bad. They are ways to communicate your limits and, in fact, strengthen yourself and your relationship.