Wedding Planning: Heaven or Hell?

It’s April and if you are planning a June wedding this year, you are coming into the home stretch with your wedding planning.  How has the experience of planning a wedding been for you and your mate?  Heaven, Hell, or somewhere in between?  Planning a wedding is great practice for being married.  It gives you and your mate the opportunity to work as a team on decision-making, managing deadlines, and handling family stress.  It’s real life!  If you are on the cusp of getting married, these tips may be a little too late, but if you are just in the beginning stages of planning, print this out and refer to it regularly!  Here are 5 concrete tips to help you and your mate have more of a heavenly wedding planning experience than a hellish one:

1. Before any planning begins, you and your mate need to have a conversation about the desired level of involvement in planning the wedding.  If you are the bride-to-be, do you want your groom-to-be an active participant in decisions?  Does he want to be an active participant?  If you come from diametrically opposed positions on this, find a middle ground, but do it now – before the planning begins.  This one conversation will head off resentment that could build and last a long time.
2. Set boundaries around the topic of “The Wedding.”  Once you and your mate are engaged, the wedding can easily be all you talk about, 24/7.  This is not going to work!  Set aside time each week to have a wedding planning meeting.  Whether the meeting is 1/2 hour or 1 hour is up to you.  Do all you can to save your conversations about the wedding for this scheduled venue.
3. You and your mate must learn to set loving boundaries with your parents.  Many couples become stressed out over parents who want to control the show.  Yes, parents need to be included on some things, but know up front those areas where you and your mate want sole decision-making.  Communicate that to your parents in a firm, but loving way.  The sooner you do this, the better.
4. Before you get too caught up in the production value of the event, make sure you and your mate talk about what the ceremony and reception means to you.  What is the final goal for both the ceremony and celebration?  What part do you see yourselves playing in both of those events?  Remember, this day is about the relationship between you and your mate.
5. Wedding planning is a practice ground for marriage in that it requires communication, teamwork, and compromise.  If you run into a lot of bumps along the way that stress your relationship, consider reaching out to a professional for help before you get married.

For more ideas on how to plan a wedding and reduce the stress, click here.